GUEST POST: Zareen Naqvi- When your mom gets engaged before you do

It’s always fun to get to know fellow bloggers! I’m glad I have met so many. And am longing to meet more. Thus, I thought why not invite “Guest Bloggers” to my blog and share their experience in their own words? Well here is the first one. 

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WHEN YOUR MOM GETS ENGAGED BEFORE YOU DO

by Zareen Naqvi 

First off, congratulations! Your mum snagged a fella before you. She told him to put a ring on it and he did. Unlike your ring finger, which is dry, lonely and vacant. Not to mention, without a ring.

Engagements, weddings, funerals, get-to-know each other parties, reunions etc are all time consuming, boring meet and greet things. In my experience, they have been anything but delightful. Even the ones who say  they are absolutely delighted to attend such shenanigans, aren’t really delighted at all. They are just like you, cursing that they have to get all dolled up for the evening while rummaging  through their closet, trying desperately to fit into a dress that fit perfectly two years ago. Which dress is more appropriate? Is this too loud? Should I put my hair up? Such questions haunt all of us the moment we are invited to social gatherings. Here’s my guide on how to handle being at such “delightful” meet and greet, particularly the one where your mum’s getting engaged:

Shrug off the embarrassment

There might me a moment or two (or more) where the reaction to hearing your moms engagement wouldn’t exactly be what you’re expecting. Actually, it will be exactly what you’re expecting: no one would be jumping from excitement at the news of your mun’s second try at marriage. Friends and family will either stare at you, with eyeballs the size of football, in disbelief or pretend they have misheard you.

“What..wait are YOU getting engaged? Oh your mom! Your mom? Really? At this age”

It can be embarrassing but don’t be. Everyone has a right to choose how to live their lives. It’s the 21st century for god’s sake. Now, YOU pretend to not hear them at all and continue talking about it with the same enthusiasm as you were before.

What to wear

No dress is too short, no color too bold, no heel too high, no makeup too loud if YOU feel confident enough to pull it off. It all depends on you. Be true to your style and to yourself. And even though you’re at your mothers engagement, you don’t need to be someone’s idea of prefect. Chances are you’ll be the target of some comments, audible and non. Even if others think they can’t tell you and lady gaga apart, at least you’re having a ball working it!

Handshake or Hug

This is a tough one. Obviously, when you meet someone you know very well, you hug and air kiss them, leaving handshakes for the ones you don’t know or the ones you don’t want to know.

To avoid such awkwardness and create better first impressions I advise you to take their cue. If they seem friendly and cordial, spreads your arms for the hug. But if their hands are tied behind their back and they’re just nodding hellos, chances are you’re not getting the love.

The Two seated Sofa

Nothing so awkward about the two seated sofa. Nothing awkward if two people are sitting on it. <em>Very</em> awkward when six people are trying to squeeze their butts onto the now <em>flattened</em> sofa seats,holding their breaths while the photographer clicks away unless someone begs him to stop.

The Awkward Session 2

When other couples at the place start posing for family portraits in the middle of a photo session held for the newly-engaged. Um hey dude? You got your chance. Don’t ruin someone else’s photo session because you missed yours.

Small Talk

We all hate it but you can’t get through these evenings sitting in a corner, munching on snacks. Chances are you’ll meet someone interesting. Even more are the chances that someone will find you interesting and start a conversation when you’re mouth is full of food and you have bread crumbs on your pretty little dress. Avoid controversial topics (oh, so you think being gay is OKAY? Don’t you know it’s a CHOICE?) and subjects that might trigger confrontation (so why exactly do your dad leave your mom?). Keep it nice and light. Focus the attention on them. It will be exhausting to hear some self obsessed girl talk about herself and you’ll tune out every now and then, but look at it this way: the less you talk, the more you listen. The more you listen, lesser are the chances of you ending up with your foot in the mouth.

That Annoying Kid

There will always be that one kid who will look like an angel, but underneath the mop of hair will be two small horns. He’ll spit at you. He’ll rub around the place like it’s his bloody home. He’ll come out of nowhere and punch you in the guy for no reason. He’ll be nice to you for one second and next he’ll be kicking you. Beware of such cute devils. You have been warned.

Don’t Brood 

Try and have a good time. It’s your mum’s engagement. It’s not the end of the world, actually quite far from it. Think of it as a new beginning, a clean slate. Be happy for your mum. Wish her luck. And you know, if it doesn’t go well…you just write another blog about it.

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 About The Guest Blogger

Zareen currently resides in Karachi, Pakistan. She likes to talk, and meet new people. She knows french and is a wonderful writer. I’d like to thank her for agreeing to ‘be my guest’ blogger and for writing this sparkling post!

You can visit her blog and I am sure you’ll enjoy reading it as much as I do.